I hate that I let myself believe that you understood where I stand when it comes to you. Now that you and the wide are officially done, my opinion hasn’t changed. And I knew you were going there, I was just so hopeful that there was someone out there that genuinely cared and wanted to be a friend. I let you hurt me again and I’m more mad at myself then anything else. Because I knew better, because my instincts are always right. I’m always right and I let you in again.
In a month I lost someone I really cared for and it was because of lessons you taught me and for some idiotic reason I thought you had changed. And now I’ve lost another friend because, very clearly, I need to put some space between us. Because I will never be that girl again. That young, naive, stupid girl that takes the love she’s given because it’s all she feels she’s worth. And I will most certainly never be that girl with you.
In a month it’s been very easy to end my loneliness but I know I’m better than what’s been offered. Because obviously the first one didn’t care about me enough when I put an end to the sex talk. And you. You’re exhausting. I’ve danced around trying to tell you no because I know you’re delicate but I can’t tiptoe the line anymore. It’s done. I’m done. When it comes to relationships, settling is not an option, not for me. It’s time for me to be selfish, to look out for my needs and my wants. Because if I don’t I’ll end up the way you did and chasing dreams.